MoneyWiseWomen

Challenged or in Over Your Head — When a Positive Attitude Isn’t Enough

During a tough job market, it is not uncommon to find two extreme versions of propaganda. On one hand, we might read about the absence of any jobs, and on the other hand, we might find academic institutions promising paths to riches by obtaining a degree or the latest certification in underwater basket weaving. Each scenario gives job seekers something to hang on to: hopelessness or a vision. Neither extreme is accurate; the problem lies in that each statement is believable and may be taken at face value, with very little questioning about the relevance of the statement to any particular person’s circumstance. There are several other factors to be taken into account.

Relying on certifications as a measurement of value

As an example, an MBA degree might be an attractive addition to someone’s calling card, but if the person truly doesn’t have an understanding of the business needs of the employers they are pursuing, the assumption that the MBA adds value tends to be off target. A dressed-up resume may allow some people to talk their way into a role that superficially looks like a match, but they can easily end up being in over their head.

So, what happens when people are not realistic about their capabilities or performance? After a running start, the candidate may find themselves unemployed again when their true applicable knowledge and skill level are recognized by the employer. When it turns out someone is not performing as anticipated or desired, some employers take an easy way out. The underlying issue isn’t necessarily visible because the employer may be reluctant to go through the process of documenting performance or coaching. In some cases, it is much easier to group someone into a “layoff” scenario, simply to avoid the work involved in removing them through performance coaching and documentation.

In my experience, the number of times I encounter a situation where the person has a greater perception of their capabilities than a position warrants and subsequently loses their job occurs about as frequently as I hear someone complain they have been unemployed for an extended period because there are no jobs.  The similarity in these situations is that each represents an unrealistic expectation about the marketplace for particular skills or the availability of dream jobs that match desired criteria.

It’s important to recognize the difference between a “challenge” and “in over your head.” It may mean one thing to the candidate and yet another to an employer who has clearly defined expectations of the outcomes they desire. It gets even more complicated when the employer has not clearly defined his expectations and the candidate has no real understanding of the role and is left to intuit their way through. To ensure the highest probability of success, it is critical for candidates to understand the business goals of the organization and where their role contributes to the organization’s mission and objectives. On the flip side, for an employer to ensure their resources are being used to the fullest, it is extremely critical to set clearly defined expectations.

Relying on passive job search or passive recruiting methods

Many candidates using a passive search process will miss out on learning what is needed before they enter into a situation. Job descriptions may describe functions but not necessarily goals. In order to fully grasp what they are getting into, candidates need to conduct extensive research and talk to insiders to get a real-life perspective of the overall market, a particular industry, or a particular organization. With this preparation, they are much more likely to gauge the value or return on investment (ROI) of certifications or extended education. Through strong relationships and an internal connection who is willing to speak to the overall skills someone brings to the party, it is more likely a person will be able to apply a newly acquired degree or certification without an exact match to stated job requirements.  Employers who encourage employee referrals are much more likely to open the doors to people who share the organization’s vision and are a fit with the culture when candidates have existing relationships with top producers who have demonstrated as much.

On the flip side, hiring managers who rely only on the identification of key words, certifications and degrees as a measure of value may be unpleasantly surprised by poor performance later. It is critical to develop sound questions to be able to assess someone’s ability to do the job, and to do the job the way the employer wants the job done. It’s amazing how many times people are still hired on assumptions.

Being behind the curve when needs change

Another hurdle for a candidate to face is when an industry, organization, or a hiring manager’s expectations change due to changing business needs. This situation arises when the candidate is seeking employment, or it can happen after they are hired. Either way, if someone is unable to quickly change priorities to address business needs and immediate opportunities, they will be left on the sidelines.  Regardless of how hot the job market is, or how hot the newest certification program or designation is, if a candidate is not flexing with the underlying business need, will be left behind.

In a slow job market, it is even more critical to recognize that what you want right now may not be attainable immediately or as planned. It might require a different strategy or short-term concessions and, most importantly, the flexibility to do what it takes to get on track. Building in the time to develop connections and hands-on experience may allow for a greater ROI from new certifications/degrees in the long run.  It is also critical to stay on top of changing needs to make sure what you offer is still considered of value as you move forward.

Go Red for Women Celebrates 10 Year Anniversary - Learn and Live!

The American Heart Association celebrated their 10 year anniversary of the Go Red for Women Movement on February 1, 2013! Hundreds of women across the nation wore red on that day to help create awareness about the fact that heart disease is the number one killer in women, causing 1 in 3 deaths each year. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone or knows someone who has heart disease.  It is important to also know that 80 percent of heart disease is preventable. How many diseases can we say that we have that much control over?

Money and the Blame Game

Lots of people play the blame game with money—you blame the person who “owed” you because you worked so hard, or tolerated something else that you thought would bring a greater payoff—but whenever you play the blame game, you miss the opportunity to gain more power, control and peace over your money. And when you don’t recognize the dynamic you’re engaging in, you’re doomed to repeat it.

 

Blaming someone else (or blaming yourself) about any frustrations over money has to do with the basic thought that your survival is being compromised. The perception is that this other person has the power to make or break your financial life, depending on what they do. It’s very difficult to like, much less love, someone on whom you believe that your survival depends. So when you are engaged in the blame game, you may forget that you are every bit as responsible for the relationship dynamic as the other person.

 

Look Into Your 2012 Crystal Ball

A couple of Saturdays ago, I finally sat down with my magic crystal ball. I was ready to create my personal 2012 spending and income plan. I was a bit nervous this year about what I would see in the ball. I really need to convert my house to gas, or at least replace my dinosaur of a furnace. Yikes. And I’ve been asked to join some friends on a big out of country trip. I would like to go! And since I already did my business annual plan, so I know what income I have this year.

So I sat down with a cup of Starbucks coffee, called up The Crystal Ball and set to work.

(Lights darken, crystal ball begins to glow, getting brighter and brighter, mists swirl in its depth and begin to part, and I lean forward, peering into the future….)

Two hours later, I had all my answers. Well, I had a lot of answers and I wanted time to think. To feel. To journal.  To digest the future I had just seen. This future seemed to have several scenarios and I was going to have to make some choices. I am reminded of that saying, “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want.” Rats.

8 Step Plan to avoiding the post-holiday spending hangover

Here’s a question– Did you wake up last January with a spending hangover? You know what I mean- come January, when all the gifts are opened and the parties are over, the Visa, MasterCard, Macy’s and Nordstrom’s bills begin to arrive.

Credit card use is up 7% this holiday season. And sadly, it takes the average American who uses credit cards to finance Christmas six to seven months to pay off the holidays. Who wants to be basking in the summer sunshine while still paying for the gifts you gave your kids, family and friends?

Shame and Money Secrets

Money secrets are some of the most shame-filled secrets we keep. We’ve all heard that “the truth will set you free,” however, I believe that there are two kinds of money secrets we keep: the ones we keep because it’s inconvenient to tell the truth and the ones we keep because we don’t want to hurt ourselves.

Sometimes we keep a money secret because we don’t want to deal with the questions and issues that will be raised if we reveal our secret. Or we think it’s none of their business what goes on in our personal financial situation. I happen to think it’s completely okay to keep quiet about some things. For example, my parents know quite a bit about my financial situation, but they don’t know everything. I imagine they think they know more than they actually do, and I am okay with that. They know that some times have been rough, but maybe not how rough . . . and they know when times have been good, but maybe not every single stupid money decision I have ever made.

Notice too I am making a distinction between active lying andnon-disclosure; I don’t believe I actively lie about anything, but I certainly don’t feel like everyone needs the complete “E True Hollywood Story” train wreck version whenever something difficult occurs.

With your loved ones and life partners: I think you need to be absolutely transparent with your money. People think that money is the #1 reason why marriages break up, but I think that statistic is sort of like saying that the reason a marriage broke up was because of cheating: cheating may have caused the final break, but there were a million missed intimacies, communications and decisions made that led up to the cheating. Same for money; money in and of itself is never the reason a marriage ends, it’s everything around it. Money is a symptom. Transparency ensures that at least communication about money will not be the marriage’s downfall.

Why Women Find Raising Their Fees Difficult

If 2012 is the year to make more money, raising your fees could be a vital ingredient. Many people have kept their fees flat for the last few years, due to concerns about the economy. But with the impact of inflation, you can’t keep your fees the same forever. Generally speaking, you should raise your fees by about 3-5% each year, simply to keep from falling behind.

And yet why does looking at what you charge, and possibly charging more money, feel so difficult? For years I’ve encouraged many of my clients to look hard at their fees, and to assess whether it was time to raise them. Often, it feels quite emotional. When you undercharge or simply give too much time away, you start resenting your clients and your work. And of course many service providers genuinely like their clients and deeply value these long-term relationships. They fear that if they raise their fees, they’ll lose these wonderful clients.

But it goes deeper then this for many women—and some men as well. They fear harming the relationship itself. Relationships are everything! And god forbid these wonderful people who are our clients think that we believe money is more important than people….

Time and again I’ve seen the “Good Girl Syndrome” raise its head and keep people from charging an appropriate fee. This “Good Girl Syndrome” is simply the behaviors that arise from wanting people to like us and not wanting to make people mad. Some call this the “internal people pleaser”—and you can see how this impacts our ability to charge people money.

I have found that women tend to identify with that internal people pleaser more than men do. Though of course there are plenty of men who struggle with this also. (Particularly men in the helping professions.) We fear that our clients will be angry that we’ve charged them too much money. We worry that raising our fees will harm our relationships with them. We worry that money will drive people away. And we all know that people pleasers hate not pleasing people….

But there’s another component to the Good Girl Syndrome—beyond just wanting people to like us. There is also a fear of not being good enough. So one way we protect ourselves against not being good enough is by striving for perfection. We think that no one can be disgruntled if we never make a mistake! But this perfectionism holds us back from making more money.

Countless self-employed women are waiting until they have it “right” (waiting until they’re perfect…) before they consider charging more.

We tell ourselves that when we are really ready, we’ll charge more. But somehow we are never quite ready. We never attain “perfect,” so we don’t want to look at our fees. Convenient, huh. Besides, we can’t charge more money. Not yet! We don’t have enough experience, or the right credentials or … When you add to this the desire to please people, and then you sprinkle in the concerns of the economy over the last few years, well, no wonder so many service providers feel frozen.

Waiting until we are perfect is a great rationalization to keep from moving forward. We stay where we are—undercharging our clients, giving away too much of our time for free, taking clients who are not our ideal clients, etc., all the while saying to ourselves, “someday I’ll charge more money. When I get it all together. When I’m really, really good at what I do. When I’m really WORTH it. Then I’ll charge more.”

We try to please our clients and go to great lengths. And while we wait to raise our fees, or reign in how much time we give away, resentment grows. When you undercharge or simply give too much time away, you start resenting your clients and your work. We don’t do our best work at that point. We feel taken advantage of, walked on. Our inner Good Girl grows resentful, while she continues to be as perfect as she can, and as nice as she can, sometimes for ungrateful clients…

I invite you to consider raising your fees. You deserve to make good money. And if nothing else, you deserve to stop falling behind.

7 Signs Your Shopping May Be Problematic and 3 Keys to Healing

Now-a-days we shop in person, by phone or on-line, and we enjoy spending our money on things we like. There is nothing wrong with enjoying shopping! I tell my clients this all the time, and they always seem surprised that a money coach would say such a thing. Furthermore, I want my clients to enjoy spending their money. Even after they’ve spent it.

And yet so often, this is where it goes wrong. We enjoy spending our money in the moment, (or more often we enjoy anticipating what we’ll buy) but later we regret it. If you regret your shopping afterwards, something is not working. Sometimes this regret is just a “feeling”—guilt, frustration, or feeling more financially foggy. Sometimes it is specific—we know we’ve added to our credit card debt, or not left enough money for other important values in our lives.

Forgive Your Money Mistakes

Remembering and regretting money mistakes--instead of forgiving and forgetting--can actually hurt your efforts toward financial improvement.  Anger is not a bad emotion; there are no bad emotions.  However, when anger transitions from a physiological response into an ongoing grudge toward someone or something—or even toward yourself—it can destroy any progress you are trying to make in improving a specific area of your life, particularly around money.  Money mistakes are notoriously enduring in people’s minds, and often they find it difficult to forgive themselves or others for mistakes long past.

One Technique to Escape the Paycheck to Paycheck Blues

Whether you earn $50,000 or $150,000, living paycheck to paycheck is extremely frustrating. Here are five signs that you are stuck in the paycheck to paycheck cycle:

* You are waiting for a paycheck to get deposited before you purchase something * You are juggling bills—and thinking about “which paycheck” you will pay them out of * You feel like there is no money at the end of the month * You tend to think of money in two week increments * Any unexpected large expense has to go on a credit card

Do any of those sound familiar? When people live paycheck to paycheck, they seldom feel in control financially. And they usually experience various levels of chronic financial stress. It’s often as if they are waiting for the other shoe to drop…. There must be a better way!