MoneyWiseWomen

How Committed Are You To Getting The Results You Seek?

Many people start off the New Year with good intentions for fulfilling resolutions, but their interest and enthusiasm often wanes away by the end of February. This year, make a difference in your life. Review your habits and past behaviors that have previously not produced the results you desire. Be honest with yourself. Examine your circumstances carefully to determine what part you have played in the outcomes you have experienced. Don’t rely on your employer, market conditions, or your family obligations to dictate what happens to you (or doesn’t) this year. Make a commitment to reach your goals by outlining specific actions to accomplish them.

It seems the elements I observe that contribute more frequently than not to a stalled job search or poor results are associated with three elements: lack of commitment, failure to plan and unwillingness to change.  The following questions might help you to determine if you are setting yourself up for success, or more of the same this year.

Applying Spousonomics To Money Problems

Always telling the truth about money is something to aspire to, but it may be unrealistic marriage advice. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in a blog post that it is absolutely essential that couples are 100% transparent about their money, or else the relationship probably won’t survive. How silly I am.

Spousonomics shows that this just isn’t true! The book, by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson, offers a hilarious and valid twist to standard marriage advice by showing how economics—yes, economics—is the key to a happy marriage. What it also showed me is that married people aren’t 100% honest with each other, especially not about money.

In what the call their Exhaustive, Groundbreaking and Very Expensive Marriage Survey, Szuchman and Anderson discovered that based on economics, there are actually incentives for spouses to lie to one other. One such principle is Asymmetrical Information. This means that if you’re totally honest about a topic you might be penalized, so consequently, you withhold information when communicating. For example, you might fudge on the amount of time it takes you to complete a task you were asked to perform by your spouse because you want to build in enough time to goof off before you actually do it. So you lie about it instead of being nagged by your spouse or assigned additional tasks. By withholding information, you get what you want from the spousal transaction.

Is Occupy Wall Street The Answer To Your Money Problems?

Occupy Wall Street (OWS) is a resistance movement of people who want Wall Street, the government and corporations to realize that individuals have the power to create change from the bottom-up. Yet the language of OWS concerns me, because it’s the language of war, instead of the language of collaboration and integration.

OWS doesn’t have an official website, just an unofficial de facto online resource (as it calls itself). It describes itself as leaderless resistance movement. Occupy Wall Street states it is composed of the We Are The 99%, and that they will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%. On its website, it states they are using the revolutionary Arab Spring tactics and encourage the use of nonviolence to maximize the safety of all participants (Hmmm . . . ).

It’s exciting to see Occupy Wall Street all over the country deliver a message that transcends government and party politics. I am interested to see how OWS takes part in the conversation of change. Yet I can’t help but wonder if the language that is being used in OWS isn’t what got us into this mess in the first place.

There is no place to go and see the accomplishments of OWS to date, which makes it similar to our experience with war in Iraq; is anything really getting done, or are we being swept away by propaganda? There is a lot of talk, but what kind of results or payoff can we identify? Is our most effective target for occupation really Wall Street, or is something else?

Shame and Money Secrets

Money secrets are some of the most shame-filled secrets we keep. We’ve all heard that “the truth will set you free,” however, I believe that there are two kinds of money secrets we keep: the ones we keep because it’s inconvenient to tell the truth and the ones we keep because we don’t want to hurt ourselves.

Sometimes we keep a money secret because we don’t want to deal with the questions and issues that will be raised if we reveal our secret. Or we think it’s none of their business what goes on in our personal financial situation. I happen to think it’s completely okay to keep quiet about some things. For example, my parents know quite a bit about my financial situation, but they don’t know everything. I imagine they think they know more than they actually do, and I am okay with that. They know that some times have been rough, but maybe not how rough . . . and they know when times have been good, but maybe not every single stupid money decision I have ever made.

Notice too I am making a distinction between active lying andnon-disclosure; I don’t believe I actively lie about anything, but I certainly don’t feel like everyone needs the complete “E True Hollywood Story” train wreck version whenever something difficult occurs.

With your loved ones and life partners: I think you need to be absolutely transparent with your money. People think that money is the #1 reason why marriages break up, but I think that statistic is sort of like saying that the reason a marriage broke up was because of cheating: cheating may have caused the final break, but there were a million missed intimacies, communications and decisions made that led up to the cheating. Same for money; money in and of itself is never the reason a marriage ends, it’s everything around it. Money is a symptom. Transparency ensures that at least communication about money will not be the marriage’s downfall.

Failure is Just The Beginning

Many people thinking of failure as the undesirable end of something they attempted, when really it is just the beginning.

People are scared right now because it seems like our economy is never going to fully recover from the 2008 mortgage fiasco.  They worry about losing their home, their job, or being a bag lady in retirement; small business owners wonder how they are going to cover overhead, let alone thrive. The one (small) consolation we have is that everyone is "failing" as part of a global economy, versus just one individual experiencing it alone.

Energetic Organization for Piles of Money

You might think it's not worth trying to manage your money if you only have small amounts, but in reality,  you can’t manage large piles of money until you are able to manage SMALL piles of money.  I know some people might think this is self-evident, but this statement reminded me of how getting serious about money management helped me several years ago.

I can remember a time starting out when I wasn’t making very much money, so I just let it all hang out in my checking account.  I thought to myself, “There’s nothing here to manage, so why bother?  When I start making really good money, THEN I’ll get more organized; I’ll start saving for retirement, setting aside money for an estimated tax fund, have money go regularly to my cash reserve . . . but I don’t need to get serious about money management until I have more money to manage.”

So I didn’t get organized and nothing horrible happened; as my business took off I started making more money.  And you know what?  I stayed exactly as unorganized with the money as I had always been.  Eventually, as I learned more and more as a planner and self-employed business owner; I started to sort out, organize and clarify my own finances, but it took years and many experiences to straighten me out (luckily, most people don’t need to be knocked over the head the way I needed to be).

As a side note, it’s a fallacy to think that because financial advisors deal with people’s finances day in and day out that their OWN financial life is in order.  A lot of them have the same attitude I did; they didn’t need to focus on their own finances until they made more money.  And the fact that their job is all about money tends to attract people with their own money hang-ups.

My income dipped again when I sold my traditional planning practice.  This time, however, I had been properly assimilated into organization and I couldn’t go back.  So I still had my tax fund, my cash reserve fund, my retirement savings and small bits of money regularly going into all three.  When I finally started to make more money, I still had the practical systems to accommodate it.

The connection I made when I heard the “piles of money” axiom recently was realizing that organizing yourself to manage small piles of money is actually energetically and emotionally preparing you for the larger piles of money.  Years ago, I would have taken the statement at face value and understood intellectually, that it was a good idea to be organized.  I would have missed the implication that aligns with manifestation principles: that you have to be an energetic match to whatever it is you want to create.

Think about having a baby:  you run around for nine months getting every detail PERFECT to receive this little bundle of joy because you know your life will be different and much busier after s/he arrives.  You never doubt that s/he is coming and you plan accordingly.  You wouldn’t wait until the baby is born and then say, “Wow, I guess I better get the baby stuff organized.”  You would never defend your lack of organization by saying, “Hey, it wasn’t here yet so there was no reason to do anything yet.”

Another analogy might be hosting a party . . . you don’t wait for the guest to show up to plan the menu, go shopping and cook the food.  You’re supposed to be ready for them when they show up.

The point is, you should look at your financial life with no less anticipation than you would the arrival of something very precious or exciting.  Your money should receive a proper welcome, and have a place to live, where it can get settled and make itself comfortable.

If you’re unhappy with the amount of money you’re making, or you think you don’t make enough to “manage” it, get yourself organized.   Set up the systems to manage your money NOW, so that you can accommodate a large influx when it happens—and maybe BECAUSE you are ready, it will happen that much sooner.

Mindy Crary (MBA, CFP® practitioner and financial coach at Creative Money) helps you become a lot more educated (never inundated) about not just your money — but the whackjob behind it.

Reality, Get a Dose: Step 2

In the first of this series on financial well being and health, Just Do It, we walked through the steps of a Fully Fit Plan. I encourage people to take a look at where they want to be before they look at where they are.

It’s the same philosophy as Jim Rohn’s excellent quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you’re hanging out only with your current spending plan, only looking at your current reality, energetically you’re creating the same plan for yourself, repeatedly.

If every month you first look at your Fully Fit Plan, it will remind you where you’re headed, where your intentions and dreams are. Simply writing the Plan out declares to the universe, and to your subconscious, that you are on a path.

It also prepares you for a dose of reality: your current spending plan. Now it's time to look, see and tell the truth.

It’s true that not everyone reading this sees their current spending plan as dismal, tight, something to move beyond. But I’m thinking many of you do. If you’re current spending plan had an extra $1,000 a month in it, you probably wouldn’t be reading my blog, you’d be at Intelligent Investing reading Chris Barth.

In my last blog, 3 Money Steps Toward Joy This Holiday Season, I wrote about putting together a mini-spending plan for Holiday Spending. If you’ve never done a spending plan before, it’s a great way to start by just focusing on one month. It’s less overwhelming. If you’d like guidance on walking through it, you can join me on a free training: Empower Your Holidays.

3 Money Steps Toward Joy This Holiday Season

We’re all appalled. It’s not even Halloween, and the stores are teeming with Christmas. In Northern California, we’re still having 90 degree days, but if we walk into Target, there’s a winter wonderland inside. Few enjoy the early onset of the holidays. But the holidays are coming, and taking time now to make a holiday spending plan can guide you through the season and help alleviate money vagueness and fear. You’ll feel less stress and experience more joy by taking action now and following these three steps.

Step #1: Choose an Approach.

Do you have savings set aside or room in your monthly budget for the holidays? Is money simply not an issue? Great. You might not need to read this blog.

For the rest of us, there’s some stress and uncertainty. But you have options; seven are listed below. We don’t always have to do things the same way, we don’t have to conform to our families' traditions, and we certainly don’t have to conform to societal pressure. If financial stress has hampered your holiday joy in the past, make a commitment to try a different approach this year.

Seven Approaches to Holiday Gift Giving

The Credit Card Spender Approach –Your holiday plan is to make enough room on your credit cards to afford holiday travel, gifts and entertaining. The amount you spend during the holidays is dictated by the available balance on your cards. In January, you have a big pit in your stomach when the credit card bills come. You might even hide it from your spouse.

Holiday/Santa Saver Approach – Long ago you saw the wisdom in setting aside a portion of each month’s income. On November 1^st your bank will be transferring ten month’s of savings into your checking account. You know how much you have to spend during the holidays, because you’ve been setting it aside all year long.

Per Person Budget Approach – This is my mom’s approach. With four kids and ever burgeoning grandkids, nieces and nephews it all adds up. She’s done a remarkable job of balancing gift giving, choosing an amount per person and sticking to it. As a kid, I always respected her approach. I had friends whose families would spend inordinately on gifts. I thought it odd and over the top. In our household gifts were fair, measured and appreciated.

Choosing Names Approach – This is an approach used to great effect in the workplace and in large families. Gift giving at the office is challenging with the hierarchy, large numbers of coworkers and differing pools of friends. Once you begin, where do you draw the line? Drawing names amongst your team can make it fun, affordable and less stressful. A childhood friend had a very large family that used this approach and the thought and care that went into the singular gift was always part of the fun.

Focus on the Kids Approach – If you’re in your 20’s, there’s probably things you still truly need to set up your household. After our 20’s there are few things we truly need. A refrain heard often, “Christmas is for kids” is true and can be an approach easily taken to relive some financial and time stress. Ask the adults in your family to forgo adult gifting and focus on the kids.

Swapmas Approach – My favorite neighbors have a wonderfully unique approach to the holidays. They’re bohemians, and I’ve watched them slough off the conspicuous consumerism of Christmas over for years. They’ve settled into a wonderful tradition they call Swapmas, or more irreverently, Crapmas. It is the envy of many. A large family of mostly grown children, they scour their respective homes for items of value that they no longer use and put them in recyclable bags. At their celebration they pull out their treasures and spend the evening deciding who gets what. It’s just fun.

Conscientious Objector Approach – One dear friend of mine has politely bowed out of the holidays for years. It was a little challenging at first convincing her family, friends and coworkers that she was not participating, but over the years those around her have come to respect her decision. While the rest of us are juggling time and money throughout December, she’s sitting by her fireplace reading a good book and enjoying the season.

Which approach have you taken in the past? Which one feels that it would bring more peace and joy to your holiday season? What do you need to do to make it happen? Are you willing to make a change?

Step #2: Make a Plan.

Once you’ve chosen your approach, it’s time to have some fun with numbers. No matter your approach, there will likely be some expenses, if even just a little extra food or transportation spending for seasonal gatherings. Make a list of extra traveling, parties, entertaining and gift giving you decided to do, and sketch out a Holiday Spending Plan item by item. Total it. Do you have enough money set aside or in your monthly budget? If not, then do some serious thinking about adjusting your plan, or changing your approach. Ask yourself, do I really need to use my credit cards to enjoy the holidays?

If your decisions impact others, communicate your decisions with them. If you’re nervous about it, write out what you’re going to say, pick up the phone, and make the calls. Share with them the importance of focusing on the joy of the holidays and not the stress. Send them the link to this blog.

Step #3: Follow your Plan.

Set a weekly day and time between now and New Years to look at your plan, record and total your numbers and make any necessary adjustments. If you’d like some free group support, listen to my call, “How to Have a Joyful Holiday Season with Less Stress.” If you’re worried about following through with your plan, find an accountability partner who has similar goals and check in with them weekly. Make this year the year you do it differently.

I wish you a joyful and stress free holiday season.

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Stacey Powell builds financial muscles at TheFinanceGym.com, creates financial clarity at CreatingAnswers.com, and shows off Financial Art at Facebook.

Feng Shui Your Money

Feng shui is all about creating good energy in your home, and the result will be prosperity and abundance in all areas of your life. So if you want to attract more money, then create an abundant, prosperous, energy in your home.  Suggestions include using the feng shui money frog, placing furniture a certain way, using specific colors, etc.

But what about going directly to the source?  Feng Shui your ACTUAL money?  I was inspired to explore this possibility when I read the book Apartment Therapy, by Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan.  Gillingham-Ryan doesn’t talk about feng shui per se, but he does discuss the physical and non-physical elements that comprise a comfortable, peaceful home that functions perfectly for its owner.  If one could achieve this in his or her financial life, it could produce financial peace of mind on multiple levels.

So what are the elements?  Gillingham-Ryan applied these elements to the home, but I am going to apply them to your finances.

1. Bones – this is the physical structure of your home, or in our case, your money.  What accounts do you have?  How is it organized?  Are there old accounts you never look at?  These old accounts will result in stagnant, stuck energy because they have no current role in your financial structure.
2. Breath – this is how your accounts are arranged or coordinated and how money flows between them.  Arrangement might include where things are kept or invested or how you review or check different accounts.  If accounts are properly arranged and maintained, then money flows between them without redundancy, and doesn’t stagnate in accounts where it serves no purpose.
3. Head – this is the actual purpose of your money, relative to the different accounts where it resides.  Why do you have money in each account?  What does it do for you?  Do you have a goal/purpose for money, but no actual place to put it?  When you look at your accounts, do you see a cohesive purpose innate in the structure?
4. Heart – this is the most difficult element of money to quantify, and the trickiest to define.  It starts with the question:  How do you feel about your money, structure, accounts, investments, etc.?  Does it give you vigor, or make you feel tired?  Do you feel confused or clear?

I think these elements are the perfect place for someone to self-diagnose their money issues and coordinate their practical situation with how they feel about it.  I recommend creating a visual map of your different accounts, with connectors showing how money flows between the accounts.  You can note what purpose each account has for you, and then start to clarify for yourself what is working and needs revamping. 

You see I have shown you an example, but nothing compares to physically drawing it out on your own, and if you have a spouse, comparing it to their drawing.  So I encourage you to do a drawing that encompasses all areas of your finances (it only takes a minute).

Here are some possible actions you might take after mapping your money elements:

• Bones – reorganize, consolidate, and/or close various accounts.
• Breath – set up automatic arrangements between accounts, or the flow might make more sense simply by changing the bones (above).
• Head – establish new accounts for new purposes, or separate money from one account into another to make each purpose clear.
• Heart – research some new place to keep your accounts, with a company more in line with personal philosophy.

Although I am stealing the term “feng shui” and shamelessly using it for my own purposes, I encourage you to take a look at your financial picture using this concept.  You will no doubt identify action steps you can take on your own that will give you immediate satisfaction, as well as find greater meaning in your financial picture.  And, of course, you can continue to employ the more conventional feng shui tools to attract wealth, if you so choose!

Learning from the Experts

 
Nine years ago – on August 2, 2002 I stepped outside my comfort zone and took early retirement from my Public Relations job with the Social Security Administration after reading the quote “Our purpose is life is find our gift, perfect it and give it back to others”. My gift was founding Money Wise Women to educate and empower women to live financially healthy. In the past nine years I’ve hosted 66 Money Wise Women conferences, wrote and published The Money Therapist: A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Healthy Financial Life, created the Money Wise Women blog, and began hosting Money Wise Women Get Smart Teleseminars. Since I worked for the Federal government for 26 years starting my own business and a non-profit organization was definitely a stretch outside my comfort zone. I learned how to build a successful business from professional experts. Today many of these women are my mentors, colleagues and friends.

Women often think they have to do it alone (whatever IT is), but it’s a myth. There are a ton of resources available on every topic under the sun. Money Wise Women Get Smart Teleseminars are a free resource sponsored by the Direct Selling Education Foundation. In the past several months I’ve interviewed extraordinary professional experts. These amazing and talented women freely shared their wisdom and expertise. I know everyone who listened to the interviews benefited from the tips, suggestions, ideas and resources shared. Below are just a few of the tips: