by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
(The following are ideas I'll expand on more in my upcoming tele-seminars. See the end of this post for more details.)
Obviously, the kind of refinancing I'm talking about here has nothing to do with banks or mortgages or money – and everything today with emotional investment and the kind of pay-off that you can expect to get. Of course, investing in your relationships shouldn't be done strictly for the benefits that you will receive – we want to build and foster the strongest bonds possible so each person can benefit – but it's a simple fact that the more you put in, the more you will get out! For many of us, this becomes difficult to do when our lives get busy and we attempt to juggle the day-to-day pressures of life, work, family, school, kids, etc. That's why now is as good a time as any to commit to re-connecting with those who are important in your life.
I've talked a bit before about how to discuss financial changes and cut-backs with your kids, and I want to focus on the positive outcomes that can be born out of these potential shifts in lifestyle. One thing I often tell people is to focus on re-finance their relationship, as well as their wallet. Wouldn't your kids – or your family, or your significant other rather have you home for dinner than – say – the newest gadget? We can turn financial adversity into opportunity by feeling more loved and connected, and by shifting our focus to our relationship for mutual enjoyment, if we learn how. Just because we lost our way financially doesn't mean we have to lose our way to each other or to our children! In fact, getting back on track can also provide an amazing opportunity to re-prioritize our lives.
If we're re-vamping or re-thinking our finances, career, living situation, etc., why not also re-evaluate the importance – or lack thereof – that you've placed on spending time with the people you care about the most and investing in THEM as people, not just investing in THINGS to give them!
It’s important to learn how your family financial legacy (family money tree) impacts your ability to "roll with the punches" through this economic tsunami - and in your relationship! With exercises such as Black Tuesday - which impose a no spending rule, so that you can be together without spending money - you'll see how simple "re-financing" can be. The jolt of this economic tsunami is shaking and waking couples and making them willing to learn the love lessons and skills and dialogue necessary to stay in love that are easy to learn. For more ideas - and to see how simple it can be - check out Financial Infidelity.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. Join her Monday, April 27th for a teleconference on "Recession-proofing your Relationships." (Free to the first 25 people who sign up.) Her most recent book, Financial Infidelity, is available on Amazon. You can also find her and her books on Facebook.
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