by Diana Savage
When a company sells shoddy products or treats its customers poorly, some people lose their tempers, scream obscenities, and threaten bodily harm. I’m sure you’ve had the misfortune of seeing such folks in action. The problem is, these responses are not only distasteful, but they’re also ineffective. What then, short of suffering in silence, is the best course of action?
As a professional writer, I suggest that the pen is still mightier than the sword. Most of us are simply not taught how to wield a writing instrument effectively. To illustrate a proper swashbuckling technique on your word processor, I’ll reproduce here a letter I wrote when my bank recently refused to honor its coupon. (Names and identifying details have been changed, of course.)
Then I’ll give you three tips for crafting an action letter of your own.
Gargantuan Bigwig Bank
5555 Main Ave.
New York, NY 10000
It is with distress and dismay that I write to you concerning what took place when I opened a new business checking account at my local Shaky Lands Bank branch last Thursday, August 28.
Upon receiving government approval for my new business, I searched the Internet to discern the best bank at which to open a business checking account. I found several attractive offers, but the discovery of a Bigwig Bank coupon good for $100 swayed me in your direction. Since I have a personal checking account at Shaky Lands, I was fully aware that Gargantuan Bigwig Bank purchased Shaky Lands Bank on April 1. Even while many panicked ShaLa customers withdrew their funds, I kept my savings account open and continued to make checking-account deposits. A quick review of my record will reveal that I am an excellent customer, always maintaining high balances with no overdrafts whatsoever, and when I had a ShaLa mortgage, I never missed a single payment.
When I first sat down to open the new account, I announced that the coupon was what brought me in. So imagine my utter astonishment when, after handing over $1,105 in initial deposits, applying for an EIN number, and spending an hour filling out all the paperwork, I learned that a Bigwig coupon wasn’t good at a Shaky Lands bank. The young woman assisting me searched diligently to find an offer that would apply but was unable to do so.
I am deeply perplexed over this turn of events since every communication I receive from ShaLa indicates that it is part of Bigwig. Enclosed are three such samples with pertinent areas highlighted for your convenience. Please note the email I received on August 28, the same day as my bank visit. It is signed “Sincerely, ShaLa” and the line immediately beneath it reads “Gargantuan Bigwig Bank, Member FDIC, Equal Opportunity Lender.”
Also note the second enclosure containing text and graphics from my personal inbox on ShaLa.com. Under the heading “Now at ShaLa,” the first bullet point clearly states “ShaLa is now part of Bigwig.”
On the web site https://www.bigwig.com/welcomeshakylands is the statement, “ShaLa customers: we're proud to welcome you to one of the nation's strongest banks; as of April 1, all ShaLa customer deposits are now deposits of Gargantuan Bigwig, one of the most stable banks in America.”
Just today, I stopped by my local ShaLa branch, and flyers on the counter declared, “You’re automatically a new Bigwig customer . . . .”
All this evidence explains why last Thursday, nearly five months after Bigwig took over Shaky Lands, I was shocked to learn that a Bigwig coupon I took in good faith to my local ShaLa branch would not be honored. Nowhere on the coupon, even in the fine print, did it suggest I could not use it at Shaky Lands, a bank that is “now part of Bigwig.”
I’m sure you can see why even a loyal customer such as I am might feel a bit like the victim of a bait-and-switch scheme. Some people might immediately contact their attorneys instead of first giving bank officials the opportunity to make things right. Since I have every confidence that false advertising was not your intention, I’m sure that upon receipt of this letter and the enclosed documents, you will immediately resolve this matter to my full satisfaction by depositing the promised $100 into my new business checking account, #555555555.
Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you within the next seven business days.
Sincerely,
Diana Savage
Did it work? I’m pleased to report that at 12:15 pm on the seventh business day, I received a chipper telephone call from Shaky Lands telling me that they would make an exception in my case and honor the Bigwig coupon. The representative also mentioned that this time of transition was confusing for everyone involved, even the bank personnel. I thanked her and assured her that they had made a wise choice, as I was an excellent bank customer. I’d also like to think that my prowess as a letter writer persuaded them to keep me too happy to write negative letters to the editor or post my unpleasant experience on a blog. (Of course, you’re reading this now on a blog, but I’ve taken care to disguise incriminating details.)
In any event, two weeks later $100 was deposited into my business-checking account.
Over the years I’ve had similar successes using clear, courteous, and detailed letters involving such concerns as a seriously delayed cabinet order, a broken-down moving van, and many months of phone-billing problems. All were satisfactorily resolved by following these tips:
1. Keep note of what happened, the dates, and the names of the people involved. Often I merely jot these items on a wall calendar in case I may need them later. When I do, I don’t have to rely on my frazzled memory alone. Being able to list these events in detail gives you credibility.
2. Explain the problem in a cordial manner, always giving the addressee the benefit of the doubt. If you don’t have actual proof that they are dishonest, out to rob you blind, or have dubious ancestry, it’s best to confine your comments to your opinion of their actions and their effect upon you. You’ll also avoid lawsuits.
3. Clearly state, without stooping to offensive language, how you wish the problem to be resolved. Very little is to be gained by merely venting your frustration. Would you appreciate a refund? Then say so. Do you want the store to replace the folding chair that collapsed when your mother-in-law sat on it at your baby shower? Plainly articulate that, along with an ample description of your mortification and subsequent nightmares, or however you have honestly suffered as a result. I’m not suggesting that you become a fiction writer, but don’t be afraid to describe exactly what happened and then spell out what you are asking them to do.
For more on this subject, I highly recommend Ellen Phillips’ excellent book Shocked, Appalled, and Dismayed! How to Write Letters of Complaint That Get Results.
So the next time you receive unfair treatment, whip out your pen--or boot up your computer--and compose a sizzling action letter. Then prepare to receive some satisfaction.
Diana Savage, a professional speaker, writer, and editor, blogs with her sister at www.SavageSisters.net about saving money and keeping good stuff out of landfills. She is the principal at Savage Creative Services, LLC, and may be contacted at savagesisters@SavageSisters.net.
© 2009, Diana Savage
I printed this out and tactfully left a copy on my husband's desk. A short time later I heard guffaws of laughter dissolving into helpless giggles and knew that Diana "Sweetly Sarcastic" (Hank's tag for you) Savage had scored again.
Posted by: Joan Husby | April 08, 2009 at 08:11 PM