By Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
Many women have trouble being forthcoming when it comes to talking about money, but now more than ever it is important for us to speak up. Women entrepreneurs specifically can benefit from this advice in the fluctuating economy. Business coach Veronica Canning admonishes that, ""In a recession women business owners can't afford to be shy. But if you're a woman in business, the chances are that you don't like negotiating and try to avoid it."
In an uncertain economy negotiating and talking about money is becoming more and more important as someone who's self-employed, or as a small business owner. But that doesn't mean it comes easy. Canning admonishes business women to sharpen up their negotiation skills in order to survive.
This advice is important for women and is applicable in good economies and in bad. Although more and more women are out-earning men (whether that be in their own business or in the corporate world), they tend to suffer from generations of traditionally held ideas – one of which dictates that women aren't the ones to be in charge of money, and it's rude for them to talk about it.
Canning suggests that "If you are not negotiating all the time, then you need to start at once. As things get tougher in the economy, you will need to be focused on getting what you need."
This bit of advice is appropriate and applicable for many women, not just entrepreneurs. Whether you have difficulty talking about money in business relationships or with your significant other in a personal relationship, it's a pattern that can be broken.
I suggest using the techniques I put forth in my book, Financial Infidelity, to figure out what factors influence how you think about – and talk about – money. I call this your MoneyGram. By considering why you hold certain ideas and certain reservations about money, you can break free of an aversion to money, and therefore start pursuing what you truly want in business. I suggest you start by asking a few key questions about yourself and your family/siblings:
*Do you/they have successful careers?
*Are you/they married?
*Has anyone been divorced? Remarried?
*Are you aware of any financial infidelities?
*Has anyone claimed bankruptcy?
*Are they savers? Spenders?
*Are they risk takers or are they cautious?
*Do any financial arrangements exist such as prenups or trust funds?
*How was money handled in the family – do feelings of fear, shame, blame, guilt or abandonment arise when talking/thinking about money?
The answers to this "moneygram" will help you discover money behaviors and relationship dynamics within your family. This analysis will allow you to predict, prevent, overcome and solve money behaviors you face now – and in the future, including a dislike for discussing money.
And you'll be better equipped to answer the question put forth by Canning: "What am I worth?" It's a much more open question than what many women ask themselves, "what do I need to earn?" which limits your perceived earning power right off the bat!
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