By: Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
More than a third of adults could survive financially for only 11 days if they were to lose their job, became too ill to work, or suffered another catastrophe. A new UK-based study shows just how close to the financial edge many people are.
Researchers looked at how much people spend every month and how much they have in savings. Out of 2000 adults surveyed, they found a massive gap between what the participants spent in a given week and how much they had in their accessible savings, including their pension.
Additionally, on average, women would be much less well prepared to cope than men. A frightening number of peoples' finances are already hanging by a thread due to high cost of living and increased expenses. One in five people said they had 'no idea' how they would cope if they were suddenly unable to work. Some said they would sell their home if they needed to get money quickly, but this is no longer a practical option.
The strain of not having much in the bank not only wears on an individual's mental well-being, but it can also cause a problem in relationships. If one person feels the other is over-spending this can lead to a “money mistress” situation where the partner who feels they are more closely watching the budget over-spends as well to “get back” at the other person. I call this a “PoP shot” - or a “pissed off purchase” - buying something to retaliate against the other person.
This is a time when knowing your financial “Imago” comes in handy too. Your Imago is the money dealings in your past – including how your family dealt with money and how you felt about finances and money in your childhood – that will often explain how and why you treat money as an adult. It's what attracts you to people that have similar positive and negative traits of your parents when it comes to dealing with money. (Although people are usually most strongly attracted to the negative traits!) It helps explain the types of people you're attracted to – usually someone who will fill in your financial “deficiencies.” This sounds good on the surface but can present problems later on as you will likely clash over issues of money.
These types of situations arise whether or not there is a financial strain on one or both of the partners in the relationship, but is compounded by issues like only having 11 days worth of savings in the bank!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. New York magazine named her one of the city’s top therapists and Psychology Today named her one of America’s best therapists. Her most recent book, Financial Infidelity, is available on Amazon:
You can also find her earlier book, Adultery, the Forgivable Sin on Amazon as well.
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