MoneyWiseWomen

Welcome to Money Wise Women Online Community

Six years ago I took early retirement from my PR job with the Social Security Administration after reading the quote "Our purpose in life is to find our gift, perfect it and give it back to others." I founded Money Wi$e Women and made it my personal mission to educate and empower women to live financially healthy.

Women who attend Money Wi$e Women Conferences tell us that they have learned:

• I am not alone
• Small steps can be significant and have an impact
• Finances have been scary to me. I now have the information to make goals and decisions.
• It opened my eyes to know that I can get my finances in order and be confident that I can reach my goals. Be realistic.
• I feel empowered to create positive change in my life and now realize I cannot afford to wait any longer.

A Wise Message: “Promise Yourself”

I’d like to relay a brief but wise message that a friend shared with me.  It’s a message originally written by Christian D. Larson in 1912.  My friend’s mother shared this with her many years ago when she obtained her very first job.  The message is titled, “Promise Yourself.”

My Right Money Mind

Lately, I've started a list of material things I want. This usually happens every couple of years. In between, I may want something here and there, but for the most part, I don't keep a list. Right now I have a pretty substantial list and it includes: a fitness ball, a new laptop, voice recognition software, a Wii with Wii Fitness, a few skirts, a digital camera, and some jewelry from an artist I met at the Kirkland farmer's market.

Do I need these things to be happy? No. Would having these things bring pleasure and more ease to my life and/or work? Yes. I think . . .

It was the desire for more pleasure and ease that nearly made me lose my mind... my right money mind, that is. I was on track for my second quarter plans, earning and spending as I had intended. I paid my quarterly taxes on June 15th and was able to put money into my retirement account and take care of all my monthly expenses. I felt good about all that, but I didn't really feel much pleasure or ease.

Is it ever TOO early to talk about money?

By Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

My immediate, short answer to this question is “no.” But of course it's more complicated than that!

I'm not suggesting you ask for a breakdown of the other person's assets or that you inquire as to how much they make. And I'm not setting forth the idea that you lead your first date with questions about finances, bills, debt, etc.

Finances and budgets can be touchy subjects, so it may seem completely counter-intuitive to discuss money-related issues early on in a relationship, but this is exactly when it needs to happen. You need somewhat of a foundation to a relationship before you start discussing some of these tougher subjects.

Inflated Economy

It's no secret that recreational spending is down across the board but it has also forced people to put a halt on some big ticket items – things they may actually need – until things pick back up. And – as I mentioned last week – these necessary “pent up purchases” are are starting to be acted upon and may provide the necessary fuel to bring the economy out of the doldrums.

USA Today reports that post-recession, the industries that “fell hardest may see a big rebound.” As with many things recession-related, there exists some severe disagreement among economists as to how much pent-up purchasing power exists and when it will be unleashed on the much-needed economy.

The Million Dollar Question

Did you hear about the rancher who won $232.1 million in the lottery?

23-year-old Neal Wanless bought his winning ticket on May 27^th in the town of…no joke…Winner, South Dakota. It’s one of the largest single winner jackpots in history. After taxes, Mr. Wanless will take home a lump sum of $88.5 million.

When stories like this come out, it gets people thinking. They can’t help but wonder what they’d do with all those millions. But, here’s the real million dollar question:

How would you be if you won the lottery?

To get my drift, go back to something you’d do with the money. One common response is “pay off debt.” That’s an action, a task, so what will that bring to your life? How will you be when you no longer have debt? The feelings you’ll have and the ways you’d live your life are what I call “essences.” Try making a list of what you’d do if you won the lottery and then next to each action or task, write the corresponding essence describing how you’ll feel and how you’ll live.

Learning About Credit Reports & Scores from Gerri Detweiler

Last night I interviewed Gerri Detweiler, President of Ultimate Credit for the monthly Money Wi$e Women Get Smart Teleseminar. WOW! Gerri is a wealth of knowledge about everything relating to credit reports and scores. The one-hour interview went by way too quickly! I learned several things from Gerri that I want to share with you.

Watch out for Pent up Purchases!

By Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

We're all a little pent up. Even if the recession hasn't affected us financially (although, odds are it has, in some way!), it's likely all we're hearing about, even as some commentators suggest we're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. So it's no wonder we'd want to do something to make ourselves feel a little bit better about this predicament that just seems to be wearing on and on. It's justifiable, right?

Well, yes and no! When the answer to the “how do I make myself feel better” question is “go shopping,” we've likely got a problem.

What You Wear Affects People’s Perception of You at Work

Over the past five years I’ve seen every type of clothing attire at work, from business suits to low cut tops and jeans to gym clothes.  Through it all I’ve had a lot of women ask me about the connection of clothing and career success.  Based on two surveys, it appears that “casually dressed workers may be risking career success for the privilege of being comfortable” according to Marcia Heroux Pounds. 

Are you prone to spend MORE during tough financial times?

By Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

(The following are ideas I'll expand on more in my upcoming seminars. See the end of this post for more details.)

If you find yourself wrecking the budget during a financial crisis - when you should be more concerned with keeping money matters in check – you're not alone. A new survey conducted by Professor Karen Pine, from the University of Hertfordshire finds that women are more inclined to spend themselves out of misery when they're financially strapped, than they are during stable times. Thus, the recession could actually force more women to overspend.

The survey found that 79% of women said they would go on a spending spree to cheer themselves up., concluding that some women use shopping as an emotion regulator, “a way of anesthetising themselves to negative feelings or dissatisfaction with life.” Ironically, this means worrying about money could lead women to spend more.

The opinions and habits of the 700 women surveyed line up with what I've seen in my own practice over the years. Four out of ten of the women named ‘depression’, and six out of ten named ‘feeling a bit low’, as reasons to go on a spending spree and overspend. Women commonly expressed the view that shopping has the power to make them feel better. This can either lead to, or be symptomatic of, financial infidelity. Just as an individual may turn to an illicit love affair to provide the biochemical feelings of connection and experience the thrill of a new romance, over and over again, so, too, they may turn to risky financial behavior for stimulation to give them a high, and get them out of a “funk” or a depression down-turn.

The behaviors that stimulate these feelings can easily become addictive, and that's when it moves into more dangerous territory.  As the survey suggests, the ability to regulate emotions is crucial for mental and physical wellbeing and humans adopt a variety of means of doing so, including drugs and alcohol.  Shopping is one method increasingly adopted by women, and a Stanford University study identifies one in twenty Americans as compulsive shoppers.

Shopping when feeling depressed is akin to the behaviors that are triggered by other types of addiction. Take stock of your emotions, and the times you feel most prone to engage in a little “retail therapy.” If you're indulging in spite of your budget – or worse, because of it – you may be headed down a dangerous path that will be unhealthy both financially and emotionally. Work to re-wire the pattern of thinking that leads you to shopping, opting instead for spending time with friends, trying something new like taking a class, head to the gym, or use your energies to volunteer. Work to divert your energy and attention into something positive – the possibilities are nearly endless!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years. Join her every Monday for a teleconference on "Recession-proofing your Relationships." (Free to the first 25 people who sign up.) Her most recent book, Financial Infidelity, is available on Amazon. Sign up for her Newsletter.

Why Women Earn Less

Last night I interviewed Mikelann Valterra, Founder of the Women's Earning Institute and author of Why Women Earn Less: How to Make What You're Really Worth. I learn so much from Mikelann every time I hear her speak and last night's interview was no exception. One of the most profound examples Mikelann shares is the story of a 25 year old woman and man who start their first job right out of college. The employer offers them both $25,000/year salary. The woman accepts, but the man negotiates for $30,000 and gets it. Neither of them get anything but cost of living adjustments (3% annually) until they both retire in their early 60's. The woman's retirement is $72,000/year while the man's retirement is $88,000/year -- $16,000 more. And during their working years the man earned $362,000 than the woman. All because he negotiated for $5,000 more in the beginning of his career. Realistically, the woman was probably out of the workforce for several years having children and the man probably negotiated his salary numerous times over the course of his career.